BEING HONEST

I've never made a decision for me. 

It was always easier, to just let things be.
I never thought you could love me, because I wasn't your type. 

So I convinced myself that friendship is what you'd liked. 

I ignored my feelings because that's what I do                                
Easier to believe loss than living could be true.
      
I saw a movie that left me teary-eyed.
Because it was then I saw my life realized.
I decided you should know how I feel,
And take a chance believing that this love could be real          

So tell me I'm not alone and not out of my mind,                              
Since I'm finally being honest, for the very first time.

Vulnerable

I'm sitting her thinking about my life; not my past, not my future but my right now and I'm afraid! I've tried to maintain happiness in my situation instead of going after things in life that make me feel accomplished, productive and meaningful.

So the question I ask myself is, "do you change your position or someone else?" Anxiety has stricken my heart, and naturally I turn to the Lord.

God, i'm such a fraud, I mean well, but i've not been honest with myself which means I'm not honest with others nor you! I've got to change my outlook of my past, my future and my right now.

I need you Lord to come in and renew a right spirit within me and give me a sound mind. I feel so vulnerable right now, not knowing what awaits my future. I didn't know I had a fear of failing. As I expose the inner most parts of me to you Lord, I'm asking to be renewed, transformed and diligent. Cleanse me of all unrighteousness, purify me and wash me clean.