Countertransference

Countertransference

As I look into your eyes
It's  as if they are large magnetic pools pulling me in
I'm certain you've always made this part of your secret weapon
I know this is a danger zone and I need to break away
I was frozen in that moment, it was hard to look away

Your warm and earnest demeanor really invites you in
To gaze upon your person and listen to every whim
I know this is a danger zone and I need  to  break  away
I was frozen in that moment, it was hard to look away

Your smile is infectious as you focus on my words
I love this attention, though my thoughts of you are absurd
To bask  in your countenance knowing it's too long
Is a typical countertransference, which means I am wrong

The end  of 2019 is soon  approaching, and  as I sit here in reflection of my time spent  with you, this is what crossed my mind.

Cool crisp air,
Followed by the visible white breathe from the panting of my mouth.
Before me is  an unstable pathway, covered in  leaves hiding the rocks and jagged ground
I teeter upon the wet bark, and tree stumps, where the trees are completely surrounding me
As you lead the way,  willingly I follow, because...
I now see, Love is blind.

This is dedicated to "Bear"

That's What Love Can Do

As I listen to, That's What Love Can Do," by Robin Thicke, I immediately  think of you, my Babe.

I began to smile and think Yes, I am happier today in this relationship than any other, but as I continued to listen to the song my heart began shift.

Robin's song says, "When the morning comes, I see your eyes and feel the Sun, I know I'm where I belong."  Well we are miles apart and no I don't  see your eyes in the morning.  So I ask myself, am I where I belong?

Then the Spirit reminded me God is with us in the morning, in the noon day and night.

He orchestrated our meeting, our compatibility, and this distance.  He fills those moments when loneliness sets in. He fills me up so that I can love you and He does that for you so you can reciprocate that same love.
In the word's  of Robin, "you may not know until you grow, who you are or what you know "

I lean back and again I smile, thinking yes this is where I belong.

That's why God is Love and appropriate to give him the praise because that's what Love can do.

Something New

God has allowed me to experience someone new
He is easy in his conversation, understanding and his  being
He is similar to myself in so many ways
I often look for the shoe to drop any day

God has allowed me to experience someone new
His physicality and stature isn't all that matters
Though he is nice on the eyes, with his solid muscles and thighs
His smile lights up a room, as he stands strong, confident and wise

God  has allowed me to experience someone new
A man whose outer is tough, but soft on the inside
His intelligence and soft heart shows more than most
His passion to help others is definitely worth the boast

God has allowed me to experience someone new
Complementary, loves me unconditionally
He thinks I am a diamond, with many facets
So dynamic that he could blow a gasket

God has allowed  me to experience someone new
He considers me, allows room for my expression
God focused, and disciplined too
He is my bear, my panther, my boo

I POUR

As I connect with the human race with great joy and enthusiasm on my face I pour

The exchange of laughter, ideas and goals allows me to encourage, and I pour

Then comes disappointments, fears and doubt, and I pour

When the fog has lifted, obstacles sifted, I grab my cup

But wait, there is none for me, and no one left to hold  me up

This is a perpetual state of the giver, full of conflict, emptiness, and yet I pour